I've been a little cavalier with my alcohol intake this year, and I don't like what it's doing to me and I don't like the implications of it. Previous years, the amount of times I got really drunk was no more than a handful, which was questionable by itself, but it seems to have really peaked this year.
It hasn't escaped my attention that these moments of extreme excess usually coincide with periods where I'm not in a good emotional condition either, which is further cause for worry. I'd like to think I'm fairly reflective and that I can use these signs of bad behaviour to rectify what's troubling me. I just need to hone my skills to do it before crossing the line. I'm nearly there.
It's one of those days where I'm hyper emotional. No matter how often they come and go, I never seem to get used to it. I miss my parents. I miss my friends. The urge to escape for a while comes in waves and usually doesn't lead to "healthy" behaviour, so I keep it at bay for a few days until it passes.
I'm not one to support athletes, but when I do, I do it for the oddest reasons most of the time. I've been watching The Ultimate Fighter season 20, and I can't help but absolutely being amazed at Joanne Calderwood. Her in-cage personality is the polar opposite to the out-of-cage personality. She carries herself quietly and respectably, which stands in stark contrast to some of the other athletes.
Rose Namajunas is another great example. She's so open and honest about her emotions while still being an absolute mercenary. She reminds me of the bits of "honest fight hyping" Jim and I used to do while drinking.
I guess it has little to do with ability -- or rather, ability is not the only thing that's important. I guess all those sports management companies know what I'm talking about and try desperately to craft and mould the public image of their athletes, but that just leaves them appearing stale and saltless. Perhaps supreme talent and honed ability often comes hand in hand with a dislikeable personality -- someone hyper focussed to the point of appearing to lose most of what makes a person human. I have neither, so I wouldn't know, but it would explain why so many public persona's are so... crafted and synthetic.
I just learned that the LD50 (lethal dose 50%) for water is about 6 litres of water for a person weighing 75kg. That's a lot of water.